What it is: When making a request, remove as much friction as possible so it becomes a no brainer for them to say yes. The easier it is for someone to say “yes,” the more likely they will.
Why it works: We are all overloaded: mentally, emotionally, and professionally. If supporting you feels complicated or time-consuming, even a willing stakeholder might hesitate. But when the path to agreement is smooth, the natural response is to go along with it.
How to apply:
- Break your request into smaller, simpler steps.
- Pre-fill a slide, draft a document, or outline an idea to give them a head start.
- Offer a few clear options rather than open-ended asks.
Example: Instead of asking, “Can you provide feedback on my project proposal?” try:
“Here’s a two-page summary. If you only have 5 minutes, your thoughts on Section 1 would be most helpful.”
Pro tip: Aim to make the response nearly effortless.
What it is: When working on a project, deliverable or initiative, purposefully share it when it’s still in draft form, and go out and get others to review it and provide feedback.
Why it works: People are more likely to support what they helped create. When someone contributes early, they develop a sense of ownership. It also taps into the Ikea Effect where people tend to favor something that they have already invested in or that shares their ideas/beliefs/expertise
How to apply:
- Bring a rough draft to a meeting and ask for feedback.
- Explicitly say, “I’d love your take on this before it’s finalized.”
- Ask, “Where would you poke holes in this idea?”
Example: Instead of submitting a fully polished initiative, bring a “v1.0” and ask, “What’s missing? What would you change?”
Pro tip: After you’ve gotten their feedback, make sure to follow up and share with them the next iteration which includes their specific feedback or ideas.
What it is: Start with a small ask before making a larger one.
Why it works: This one comes from a body of research on this topic that has been replicated across a number of fields (fundraising, smoking cessation, etc) Once someone says yes to a small request, they’re more psychologically inclined to continue supporting you. It’s a form of behavioral momentum, and it builds trust over time.
How to apply:
- Ask for a quick review or informal input first.
- Follow up later with a more significant ask like approval, resources, or formal sponsorship.
Example:
Step 1: “Can I get your thoughts on this project direction in our 1:1?”
Step 2: “Now that you’ve seen it, would you be willing to present it alongside me to leadership?”
Pro tip: Your initial ask should feel meaningful, but easy to say yes to
What it is: Start with a large request you expect to be turned down, then follow it with a smaller, more reasonable request.
Why it works: This is a riff off of “Foot in the Door.” And credit to learning about this through Professor Zoe Chance. The concept of this is that people don’t like saying no twice. When the second ask feels modest by comparison, it’s more likely to be accepted. It also creates a sense of fairness—like you’ve “met them halfway.”
Cool Research Study: This has been tried many times in research, and one of my favorite experiments with this is when they were able to increase the average check size at a diner by asking guests if they wanted dessert, and then three minutes later coming back if they wanted coffee or tea
How to apply:
- Begin with a stretch ask (e.g., “Can we double the headcount on this project?”).
- Follow with the actual goal (e.g., “OK: what if we just got one part-time resource for now?”).Example:
First: “Can you commit to three engineers to build this feature by end of quarter?”
Follow-up: “How about just one engineer to create a prototype so we can test demand?”
Pro tip: Use sparingly and genuinely because this tactic can backfire if it feels manipulative.
What it is: Let your stakeholders help define how to get to a shared goal, even if the what is already decided.
Why it works: Autonomy is a powerful motivator. When people feel like they have control over the process, they are more invested in the outcome. This also taps into other people’s individual motivations and strengths. People can be creative and resourceful if you provide the space for it.
How to apply:
- Set the end goal but offer flexibility on the path.
- Invite creativity: “Here’s where we need to get. How do you think we can do that?”
- Be open to adjusting timelines, scope, or sequencing. For example:
- Extend The Due Date: “Could we get this done next quarter?”
- Remove a Constraint: “What if we removed feature A, but focused on B, C and D?”
- Decrease Scope/Increase Scope: “What if we did a light version of this” or “What if we pooled the projects together to move this up on the priority list?”
- Iterate on the Sequencing: “Could we do a V1 today to prove value, and then get buy in to do the rest later on?”
Example:
“Leadership wants to hit this metric by end of quarter. How might we make that feasible for your team?”
Pro tip: Don’t pretend to co-create if you’re unwilling to adjust. Encourage ideation and creativity but also don’t be afraid to offer suggestions. Real collaboration requires real flexibility.
What it is: Gain buy-in from someone your stakeholder already trusts and listens to.
Why it works: This technique leverages social proof. People are more likely to adopt an idea if it’s supported by someone they respect or someone like them.
How to apply:
- Identify the inner circle: Who do they seek out for guidance or validation?
- Share your idea with that person first and get their backing.
- Ask mutual connections to casually endorse your initiative in relevant spaces.
Example:
Your stakeholder is hesitant about a new process. If another respected leader has already adopted it, and is willing to advocate, it lowers the barrier to support.
Pro tip: Use this tactfully and be mindful of organizational dynamics in your org. This isn’t about political games- it’s about building credibility through trusted networks.
Conclusion
Gaining support and buy-in isn’t about having all the right answers: it’s about being intentional in how you show up, how you communicate, and how you make others feel along the way. The influence strategies shared here are just a starting point. Try them out, experiment in real-world conversations, and pay attention to what resonates most with your stakeholders.
About The Author
Al Dea is a speaker, facilitator and adviser. He’s the founder of The Edge of Work, a leadership consulting practice. Al works with organizations and leaders to help them navigate uncertainty and move forward in a constantly changing world of work. Al frequently speaks and advises organizations on how to lead change, navigate through uncertainty, and transform organizations during periods of change and uncertainty.
Al previously worked previously at Deloitte Consulting and Salesforce, where he helped organizations navigate rapid change and transformation. Al holds an MBA from UNC Chapel Hill and a bachelor’s degree from Boston College.
